When Everyone’s Smiling, But the Team Feels Off
Ever been in a meeting where everyone’s smiling, nodding, and pretending things are fine - but the second it ends, the real feelings come out?
Suddenly the WhatsApp chats are blowing up.
“She always talks over people.”
“This guy adds zero value.”
“That meeting was such a waste of time.”
It’s not always drama or dysfunction. In most MNC teams I work with, it’s something quieter but more dangerous: misunderstanding. People don’t actually get each other - how they think, work, or communicate - and that creates friction.
Thing is, most of that friction is invisible. It shows up as micro-judgments. One person’s quick decisions look reckless to someone who values thoroughness. Another’s silence in meetings gets read as disengagement, when they’re just processing. Someone loves structure, while their teammate is all about flexibility - and both get frustrated, thinking the other’s just “not serious enough” or “too rigid.”
This stuff builds up. And when it’s not addressed, it kills momentum.
Trust drops.
Collaboration gets clunky.
And honestly, people get tired - not because of the workload, but because of the emotional tax of working in a team where everyone feels slightly off-sync.
What I’ve seen work again and again is this:
Don’t start with team bonding.
Start with understanding.
When a team can name and appreciate their differences - when they can say, “Ah, that’s your strength showing up, not a flaw” - everything gets easier.
Communication improves.
Conflict becomes productive.
People stop taking things personally and start working with each other instead of around each other.
So if your team feels like it’s stuck in polite mode but not performing at its best, don’t ignore the tension. Don’t wait for it to explode.
Start the conversation.
Give your team the tools to understand each other.
Because when people feel seen and appreciated for how they’re wired, they stop playing defense - and start playing as one.
P.S. If any of this hit home, you’re not alone. I’d love to hear how your team navigates this stuff - feel free to drop a comment or DM anytime. Always happy to chat.
Written by Jason Ho
Ideation • Strategic • Adaptability • Relator • Self-Assurance
Jason is Southeast Asia's very first Gallup Certified StrengthsFinder Coach and founder of Strengths School. Having worked in the finance and consulting industry for a number of years, he brings a wealth of experience from the private sector. Jason is extremely passionate about the power of StrengthsFinder in management and business, and actively conducts StrengthsFinder workshops and coaching sessions all across Southeast Asia for individuals and organizations to unlock their full potential.
